How Caleb Joined Our Family

Infertility is never an easy thing.  Some people think that once you have a child you no longer deal with the effects of infertility.  No, you do.  It is an ever present elephant in the room.  Even when you have accepted your "fate", your heart still pains when you see those around you having babies.  You are so filled with love for them, yet so filled with longing for you as well. In the spring of 2013 we were told we would not be able to have more biological children. (To read more about this difficult journey to parenthood, click here.)  At this point, we knew we were going to pursue adoption, but we had to go through an intense grieving process to just get back to life as "normal."  From then until spring of 2015, I researched and tried to figure out the best avenues for adoption, how to afford it, and what would be best for our family.  Our church was no longer handling adoptive parent files, which threw us for a loop.  They were able give us some information to help in our research, but not a lot.  To say it was overwhelming would be a understatement!  There were so many options that I shut down for awhile.  When I get overwhelmed, I need to step back and take a break.  This break lasted for quite awhile until that fateful day in April 2015.

In April of 2015, we received an unexpected phone call from Aaron's aunt.  She asked me if I was sitting down.  I wasn't so she suggested I did.  She then told me she knew someone who didn't want to keep their baby and was wondering if we would be interested in adopting it.  I got Miss H's contact information from our aunt and reached out to her. 

From the moment I spoke with her, I felt connected.  I felt like she was a sister.  I felt Heavenly Father's love for her and her other children.  I won't tell her story of how this all came about because it is not mine to share.  We communicated through phone calls and texts for a little while and then she decided she wanted us to raise her precious baby.  What joy filled our hearts!  What gratitude we had!  This was the end of May. We decided we needed to go to Ohio and meet her.  So in July, Aaron, Miles, and I took a road trip to see the great state of Ohio and meet the newest members of our family.  Miss H even made it possible for us to be present at her fetal anatomy screening ultrasound. What an amazing thing it was to see him for the first time.  The ultrasound tech asked us all what his name was going to be, if we knew.  Miss H looked to us and we said "Caleb Heath".  Caleb means "faith, devotion, whole hearted"; in the bible, Caleb was a companion of Moses and Joshua who was noted for his astute powers of observation and fearlessness in the face of overwhelming odds; Heath is to honor of this sweet, strong woman who was carrying this child in her body.  It was an emotional time.  We had a great time and we all felt like we had known each other for years.

Miss H was scheduled for her C-section on November 13, 2014.  As soon as it was scheduled, we booked plane tickets so we could be there for the big day.  He arrived via C-Section at 3:43 PM that day, weighing in at 8 lbs, 4 oz and 21" long.  I feel so blessed to have been with Miss H during the C-section and we got to see him for the first time together.  While they were cleaning him up and doing his APGAR, Miss H and I became very scared as nurses came rushing in and then they rushed him to the NICU.  It seemed like hours before we heard anything.  Finally, I left Miss H's room and found a nurse.  She was just covering a dinner break but she went and tracked down someone who could tell us something.  We found out he had some difficulty with his breathing so they put him on oxygen, which he promptly pulled off and was fine.  They kept him in the NICU overnight and then he was able to room in with us.  The hospital we were at was amazing and gave me a room so he could be with me the whole time with Miss H's permission.  What a glorious thing it was to be able to bond with him.  We were all discharged after 3 days.

 

Then we had to play the waiting game.  Because he was born in Ohio and we lived in Colorado, there was paperwork that Ohio had to fill out and send to Colorado, who then had to fill their portion out and send back to Ohio before we could leave the state.  Luckily we had planned to stay 3 weeks with Aaron's aunt and uncle to ensure we would have enough time.  My brother, sister-in-law, and nieces drove up from North Carolina to spend Thanksgiving with us.  We left the next day.  We were so excited to be able to go home and be just our little family!

Due to adoption laws in Colorado, Caleb didn't officially become a "Conner" until June 4, 2015.

Part of our religious beliefs include giving our children a name and a blessing through the priesthood of God.  This is our way of dedicating our children to our Heavenly Father and bestowing upon them any blessings He sees fit to give them at the time.  We held Caleb's blessing on June 7, the Sunday following the finalization of his adoption.

Another significant doctrine of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that we believe that families can be together forever.  Under the proper priesthood authority, the "sealing" ordinance is done to bind in heaven what we have bound on earth.  We had the sacred opportunity to take Caleb to the temple and have him become a part of our family for eternity, not just in this life.  It was such a special day.  Aaron and I were actually married in this very temple 13 years prior.  It is a day we will never forget.

I can't believe all of this happened 2 years ago.  Caleb is a delight and we are so happy to have him in our home.  He brings so much joy and energy.  He is truly a blessing to us and we are so grateful to Miss H for allowing us to raise him.